Wishing Others Would Keep Their Mouths Shut!

Within a week or two, I had been assigned to work with another Child Protection Team (CPS) who specialized, not in sex abuse, but everything else. It had been determined that I should have well-rounded training. They handled physical abuse, neglect, emotional maltreatment, and domestic violence. The sex abuse team handled anything that had any indication of lewdness, pornography (Harmful Materials) or was blatantly sexual. We even took cases where young children were involved in possibly normal childhood sexual exploration, just so we could educate families if needed.

I went out with numerous workers to learn their method and watch how they interacted with clients. One particular caseworker (CW) was a divorced mother of four. She lived at the poverty level, couldn’t afford daycare, actually received food stamps even though she was fully employed. CW’s did not earn a great income after all. Sometimes it was difficult to distinguish the difference between a client and CW. This particular CW wore grubby jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes. She had a get-it-done quick attitude. She didn’t discuss much with clients, just wanted to determine; did abuse happen, who did it, and what finding should be determined; in and out in a few hours, hopefully. She seemed to care little for actual social work.

We went out to investigate a case of emotional maltreatment and physical abuse. A 10 year old wasn’t attending school regularly and sometimes she told her teachers that stepfather was mean to her, yelled at her using profanity; calling her stupid. They were also worried about physical abuse because she had frequent bruises. The girl was not at school when we arrived. Her teacher said she hadn’t been there for several days but the mother had not called to excuse her daughter.
We went to the home. There were 3 big dogs staked out at various locations in the yard. They barked furiously and could reach us if we entered the yard. We could not get to the front door. We called the phone number provided by the school. It went to voicemail. The CW left a message indicating a need to speak with the mother immediately, and gave a return number.

I wondered what we would do? We had to see the child but were prevented by the locked gate and dogs. Finally, we saw a neighbor in the yard down the street. We asked some questions. The neighbor said she knew a couple with 2 girls lived there but didn’t see them out much. She informed that the woman was a granddaughter to the previous owner who had died a few years before. She said the house had been condemned at one point because it was so filthy, but the family had cleaned it up. She said the mother and father both worked and told us what cars they each drove. We left and returned to the school.

According to school records, there was a friend or relative listed as emergency contact, and they showed mother’s work number. The CW called the contact. She said that mother worked as a cafeteria worker and would be home soon. She said the 10 year old daughter was probably in the house. She also said we would need to show up before the father got home or we wouldn’t be able to gain entrance.

We went to the house and waited. The mother finally arrived. She was tall, very thin, had broken teeth, limp hair. She met us on the driveway to hear our concerns. Her eyes were tired, she looked defeated, worried. We asked if we could speak with her daughter. The girl was bi-racial. She made eye contact, then looked to her mother. The woman nodded toward her and looked away. It was difficult to determine what her eyes told the girl. The CW took the girl to the edge to the driveway, mother retreated to the house. The CW asked the girl why she had stayed home from school. She said she had been sick that morning. The CW asked why someone would call in a referral and say that abuse was occurring. The girl said she didn’t know. “Is someone bothering you?” CW asked suddenly. The girl shook her head and quickly said ‘No!” “Then why did you tell people at school that someone was yelling at you and hitting you?” She pressed almost angrily. The girl claimed she hadn’t said anything like that. She said no one was doing anything wrong. Tears welled up in her eyes but she blinked them back. The CW seemed confrontational. She point blank asked if her stepdad was doing things to her. The scared girl, answered, “No, and he is not my stepdad, he’s my real dad.” “Ok, then”, said the CW with a stern look, “this is your chance to get help if you want it. I think he is hurting you and yelling at you just like you told a teacher at the school.” “No, no, she replied, I didn’t.” “Well, said the CW, here’s my card if you change your mind, you can call me.” The girl ran back into the house, while the dogs barked at us.

Her mother came to the gate. The CW informed her that we got no disclosure and that was the end of it. She said, “You might want to make sure that your husband is not abusing the kids because you can be charged for not stopping him.” The woman nodded, tucked her chin down, wrung her hands, and asked if we needed to talk to her husband. “No, CW answered, I don’t need to speak with him because we got no disclosure. The case will be closed unsupported.” The mother sighed, with what appeared to be relief, and thanked us for coming. The CW walked away brusquely.

When we got to the car, she said, “Stupid woman, you can tell that he beats her, that he beats the kids, but she won’t leave him, they never do!” She was angry. “What a waste of our time,” she cursed. “You can’t help someone who won’t help herself. I’m not going to waste time feeling sorry for her.”

I was…shocked….worried…..confused. I could think of a dozen different ways to engage rather than condemn. I thought about the training I had been receiving, to the books I had recently read about social work. This didn’t feel like what I expected.

We went back to the office. The shred bin was at the doorway to CW’s office. She shoved the papers through the slot and indicated she was done with it. We went to her office and she showed me how to close the case. There were numerous documents required. She raced through them, and indicated that they meant nothing. “Don’t waste any time on these unless you get a disclosure,” she stated firmly. She wrote three logs, one about the information she gained at the school, one about her interview with the girl, and one about talking to the mother. They were brief. The case was closed in minutes. “We’ll see this family again”, she said wearily, “it is only a matter of time.”

Two other CW’s entered her office. One was Native American, single, with a couple of kids of her own; the other, a woman with 5 kids, married to a military officer. They had both been with the agency a long time. The three of them began having a discussion as if I was not there. They looked at me every once in awhile, with a questioning look, but I had been told to keep my mouth shut so I did. One stated that the supervisor, Betsy, was driving her crazy. “I can’t believe they made her supervisor”, said the other with a bit of malice in her voice, she doesn’t know anything. She is so stupid, honestly.” They went on to list her crimes. The new supervisor had never worked CPS. She was highly religious and this seemed to offend them. She was older. She had instituted stupid rules. She wanted to know where they were every minute. She was ridiculous.

I continued to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT and eventually excused myself to do something else. I warned myself to never tangle with these women, and to never trust them. I didn’t know whether to tell my supervisor what had been said, or keep my mouth shut about this too. I wished they had kept their mouths shut! I liked my idealist belief that all caseworkers were good, honest, hardworking, engaging, moral people who were out to help others. Now, I had to accept new information into my worldview and I didn’t like it much. Knowing myself fairly well at this point, I also knew that I would not always keep my mouth shut. Someday, I would tell them what I believed about their practice of social work! But then, I decided to take my supervisor’s words seriously. I was the novice and knew nothing. A few weeks later, CW was promoted to a trainer position!