So how did I get myself into this mess, anyway?

If you open your heart to subtle messages and allow yourself to be led rather than forcing your feet to follow a pre-described path, you may be surprised at where you arrive. That’s what happened to me. I found my life’s purpose, while I was blindfolded with noble plans that would have taken me in an entirely different direction.

I was happily teaching music and dance to elementary students when I decided to pursue a degree in psychology, with an additional goal of seeking a master’s degree in dance therapy. I actively researched how the arts help people learn or heal. I taught other teachers how to integrate curriculum, using the arts, and I preached arts like gospel. And I was good at it; talented, energetic, secure.

Then a favorite professor asked me to co-facilitate an adult sex offender group. I remember looking at him and wondering if he was crazy. I had an immediate negative reaction. Actually I felt fear. But, I was also curious and Dr. Fascinating Smart told me that I would be “really good at it”. I was so enthralled by his flattery that I finally gave my consent. This one decision changed the direction of my life’s work.

After overcoming intense fear and humiliating bias, I learned to listen without as much judgment and condemnation. I began to feel compassion, understanding, and connection. I realized that sex offenders are frequently victims of severe childhood abuse. They are often socially immature and intellectually lower functioning. And I learned they could be helped, (contrary to the messages we most often hear in the media). Further, I began to see and feel the success of helping others.

I still wanted to go off to another state to pursue my degree in dance therapy and I explained to Dr. Fascinating Smart that I needed to leave his employ to continue my chosen noble profession. He looked at me like I was crazy. He said very eloquently, “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say, nobody will pay you to do dance therapy.” I argued. He encouraged me to go look for paying jobs in the field before I wasted a lot of time and money. After an Internet search, I conceded that he knew what he was talking about. Dr. Smart then told me I was the best co-facilitator he had ever hired, and that if I really wanted to do something good for the world, I should go work for DFS as a sex abuse investigator, while getting a master’s in social work. He explained, with a bit of sarcasm, that I would then be able practice any kind of therapy I wanted, including dance therapy and he suggested I would be a little more helpful to the world.

I followed his advice. I think he just didn’t want to have to replace me in the group. The amazing thing is….he knew what was right for me and I’m thankful that he basically told me I was an idiot.